Sunday Refections-October 5, 2008

This Sunday's Communion message was, for me, exactly what I needed. During the message Pastor Mark said that there are 3 things that Communion encourages us to do. Those include:
1. To look within ourselves and examine our own lives
2. To look back at how God has delivered us from things in our lives
3. To look ahead to the time when we will see Him face to face.

Pastor Mark also asked us 3 questions related to these 3 concepts:
1. What do you see when you look within yourself?
2. What "God-memory" is most special to you?
3. What are you looking forward to with God?

It's the answer to the 3rd question that I wanted to talk about in this blog. When I was about 2-3 years old, my biological father committed suicide. I never got to know my real father, and that has truly affected me over the years. I ask myself questions like, "Why was I not worth him living?" This was a constant battle in my mind as I was growing up and even now, at times. I was adopted by my mom's next husband, but I never felt like I was good enough for him. I grew up feeling like a major burden in his life. So, for me, when I think about the answer to this 3rd question, my eyes fill with tears, because I can just picture it in my mind...when I see Him face to face. I picture myself running as fast as I can to Him, laughing the whole way, and He's running full-on towards me. Then He grabs me up and twirls me around, and we just laugh and play like this for hours. (Ha...you REALLY don't want to be behind me in line to meet Him. Prepare to wait). Then He speaks to me and tells me how much He's always loved me and cared about me. I sit there completely dumbfounded that it's even possible to feel such amazing love and grace. And then I fold my head into His chest, and I just stay there for a really long time listening to His heart beat...His arms engulf me without a hint of Him ever wanting to let go. I never want to move from this position. Just let me stay like this for all of eternity. I am with my Daddy...

God is so real and so full of love. When I think about all of the things we must endure in life, I think about how all of that will just fade away when we see Him face to face. All of the hurt, frustration, and anger that we carry around will melt at the very sight of Him. But the amazing thing is that we don't even have to wait that long to let all of these issues go. If we surrender to Christ right now, even in this very moment, He floods our hearts with His grace and mercy, and everything else just falls away. He is good and faithful. If we seek Him, He will not hide Himself from us. That's a promise that we can count on.

Pics from the Erbacher Wiesenmarkt

 

This is Benjamin, my favorite little buddy!

 

Danny's uncle and cousin create these masterpieces.

 

Martin making a bird bath

 

Our arms were so sore after doing this for only 30 minutes or so. I don't know how the Fussmanns do it!!

 

Practice makes perfect!

Erbacher Wiesenmarkt

We now have only 6 weekends left to travel and do things here in Germany. We are trying to take lot of that time to spend with the family about 2.5 hours north of where we live. This past weekend, we stayed with Danny's aunt and uncle in Erbach which is the town that Danny lived in as a kiddo. Every year they have this huge festival. It's like a fair, a home exposition, and a market all together. It's quite fun. Every year, Danny's uncle has a huge plot of land that he shows off his stone work and fountains. They are really amazing pieces of artwork. This year was great, because we were able to spend some time with Danny's cousins. I was actually able to carry on conversations with them. YIPEE!! Overall, it was a great weekend, and it made me realize how much we are going to miss it here when we leave. I'll post come pictures soon. Right now, I'm meeting with a friend to do some much needed clothes shopping!!

Mom's Visit

 

So my mom left on Monday to go back to the States. She was here for almost 2 weeks. I think she got to see a great deal in that time. We went to Paris again which was great. It rained the ENTIRE time, but we made some great memories. I was finally able to buy a painting from Montmartre, and I am so excited about it. I regretted so much not getting one last time I was there, so I knew I couldn't pass up the opportunity if I ever got another.

We also traveled all over Germany. She saw Ulm (big church), Hohenzollern (castle of the Prussian kings), Heidelberg, Dachau (concentration camp), and most of the family in Bad König, Michelstadt, and Erbach. We didn't give my mom a break!!

Now the time is coming where we have to think about leaving Germany to go back to America. I am feeling very ambivalent about it really. At first, I didn't think this year could be over soon enough, but now I am truly starting to love it here. I am sure being able to understand and speak the language helps a great deal. But there's so many things about Germany I am going to miss. A lot of the things that I used to think were so inconvenient, like having 5 different trash receptacles, I now truly appreciate. I love being able to go to a restaurant and just sit where I want. The waiters don't stand over you and bug you every five seconds. You can sit for hours, and no one sets a bill in front of you trying to hurry you out the door. It's great, really!! I've made some lasting friendships here too. Danny's family has also become very dear to me. They are the most non-judgmental people I've ever met. They don't wear the masks that so many in my family wear. They've been very accepting of me. They've never made me feel stupid in spite of my complete and total butchering of their language. I don't know. I just love them a lot.

Now we're face with a big decision. There's a possibility that we can stay another year (everyone gasp!!). At first, I was dead against it, but now I am thinking more seriously about it. But, as I was telling a friend, I don't want to stay here only because I dread going back to the drama and craziness that is the reality that I live in at home. I don't want to be a coward. I do, however, miss my great friends, and I honestly think my mom might have a cow if we stay for another year. We'd probably put off having kids for another year, b/c my mom would, for sure, kill me if I had kids here. There's a whole lot to think and pray about. The positive about staying here is that I would really be able to master the language. In just the last 2-3 months, my German has gotten SOOOOO much better. So, if anyone actually reads this, please pray for us that we make the decision that God wants for us. That's the ultimate questions really. Where does God want us to be?

I guess we'll see.

Nadia und ich...so süß!

 

So Thankful

On this day 27 years ago, my hubby came into the world. I am so thankful for him. He's such an amazing man. I am thankful for his parents who raised him so well. I know they are proud of the man he's become!! I would have never in my life thought marriage could be so fun and effortless. It's such a joy to walk with him through life and to experience so much together. I am proud to be his wife, and I want to make him as happy as he deserves.

Love ya, baby!!!