Sunday Refections-October 5, 2008

This Sunday's Communion message was, for me, exactly what I needed. During the message Pastor Mark said that there are 3 things that Communion encourages us to do. Those include:
1. To look within ourselves and examine our own lives
2. To look back at how God has delivered us from things in our lives
3. To look ahead to the time when we will see Him face to face.

Pastor Mark also asked us 3 questions related to these 3 concepts:
1. What do you see when you look within yourself?
2. What "God-memory" is most special to you?
3. What are you looking forward to with God?

It's the answer to the 3rd question that I wanted to talk about in this blog. When I was about 2-3 years old, my biological father committed suicide. I never got to know my real father, and that has truly affected me over the years. I ask myself questions like, "Why was I not worth him living?" This was a constant battle in my mind as I was growing up and even now, at times. I was adopted by my mom's next husband, but I never felt like I was good enough for him. I grew up feeling like a major burden in his life. So, for me, when I think about the answer to this 3rd question, my eyes fill with tears, because I can just picture it in my mind...when I see Him face to face. I picture myself running as fast as I can to Him, laughing the whole way, and He's running full-on towards me. Then He grabs me up and twirls me around, and we just laugh and play like this for hours. (Ha...you REALLY don't want to be behind me in line to meet Him. Prepare to wait). Then He speaks to me and tells me how much He's always loved me and cared about me. I sit there completely dumbfounded that it's even possible to feel such amazing love and grace. And then I fold my head into His chest, and I just stay there for a really long time listening to His heart beat...His arms engulf me without a hint of Him ever wanting to let go. I never want to move from this position. Just let me stay like this for all of eternity. I am with my Daddy...

God is so real and so full of love. When I think about all of the things we must endure in life, I think about how all of that will just fade away when we see Him face to face. All of the hurt, frustration, and anger that we carry around will melt at the very sight of Him. But the amazing thing is that we don't even have to wait that long to let all of these issues go. If we surrender to Christ right now, even in this very moment, He floods our hearts with His grace and mercy, and everything else just falls away. He is good and faithful. If we seek Him, He will not hide Himself from us. That's a promise that we can count on.