Sunday Refections-October 5, 2008

This Sunday's Communion message was, for me, exactly what I needed. During the message Pastor Mark said that there are 3 things that Communion encourages us to do. Those include:
1. To look within ourselves and examine our own lives
2. To look back at how God has delivered us from things in our lives
3. To look ahead to the time when we will see Him face to face.

Pastor Mark also asked us 3 questions related to these 3 concepts:
1. What do you see when you look within yourself?
2. What "God-memory" is most special to you?
3. What are you looking forward to with God?

It's the answer to the 3rd question that I wanted to talk about in this blog. When I was about 2-3 years old, my biological father committed suicide. I never got to know my real father, and that has truly affected me over the years. I ask myself questions like, "Why was I not worth him living?" This was a constant battle in my mind as I was growing up and even now, at times. I was adopted by my mom's next husband, but I never felt like I was good enough for him. I grew up feeling like a major burden in his life. So, for me, when I think about the answer to this 3rd question, my eyes fill with tears, because I can just picture it in my mind...when I see Him face to face. I picture myself running as fast as I can to Him, laughing the whole way, and He's running full-on towards me. Then He grabs me up and twirls me around, and we just laugh and play like this for hours. (Ha...you REALLY don't want to be behind me in line to meet Him. Prepare to wait). Then He speaks to me and tells me how much He's always loved me and cared about me. I sit there completely dumbfounded that it's even possible to feel such amazing love and grace. And then I fold my head into His chest, and I just stay there for a really long time listening to His heart beat...His arms engulf me without a hint of Him ever wanting to let go. I never want to move from this position. Just let me stay like this for all of eternity. I am with my Daddy...

God is so real and so full of love. When I think about all of the things we must endure in life, I think about how all of that will just fade away when we see Him face to face. All of the hurt, frustration, and anger that we carry around will melt at the very sight of Him. But the amazing thing is that we don't even have to wait that long to let all of these issues go. If we surrender to Christ right now, even in this very moment, He floods our hearts with His grace and mercy, and everything else just falls away. He is good and faithful. If we seek Him, He will not hide Himself from us. That's a promise that we can count on.

Update...

This week has been such a stressful week for me. Here's the situation: Before we decided to take an amazing assignment in Germany, I had such a great job. The call back part was a little difficult at times, but in all, it was a good job. I was financially well taken care of. I was able to schedule things in my life and therefore actually have a life. Not many nurses can brag about that. Yes, the doctors would occasionally fly off the handle, and you'd want to quit just because of the amount of emotional abuse you'd have to take from them on a daily basis. But I worked with a great group of people, and we really had a lot of fun.

So we take off and have such an amazing time in Germany. We are just so blessed. Meanwhile, my boss in the cath lab is doing all that she can to hold my job for me for the year I'm gone. I checked the job postings on the St. Francis website every month or so just to see if my position was still there. After 11 months in Germany, my position was still there, but I wasn't sure if I even wanted the job back. God was really speaking to my heart about some things. I just wasn't sure where He wanted me to be. After talking to the director of the cath lab about a month before I came home, I thought the position was, at any rate, still mine for the taking. Two weeks before leaving Germany, the position is still there. Three days before leaving Germany, the job is suddenly gone! I thought, "Ok, God has a way of closing doors and opening others. It's ok." I wasn't all that upset about it.

So now we come to this last week. I've had 4 interviews at 3 different hospitals and only one job in which I'm actually interested. The one job I'm interested in would be a HUGE HUGE HUGE (get the point) pay cut, but I don't do nursing just for the money. I'd rather be happy and have less money than miserable in a job that pays great. Anyway, so the nurse manager in the job that I really wanted absolutely loved me, and I thought that it was just a perfect fit for me. All week, I've been waiting to hear the definite, for sure, job offer, and I've only gotten the run-around. I am the ONLY person they've interviewed for this position, so I'm knew that there was something else going on. Finally, I get a clear answer...budget. Apparently, they posted this dream job without actually having the money in the budget to pay for it. Hmmm...not good, and yesterday it got even better (note sarcasm).

Yesterday, I had my fourth interview. I was set up on an interview in PACU, an area I know little about. The CV OR people set it up, because according to them, this is where the greatest need lies. Ok, I'm open minded, so I go to the interview. PACU seems like a really great area. The job seems like it's challenging and rewarding. So far, so good. Then I ask about hours, and they are stinking nuts...third shift call, working sometimes 8:30am-11pm, days off spent recovering from third shift call, working every other weekend, etc. So, I'm thinking this job doesn't provide much along the lines of being able to have a life. Then I have a meeting with the boss of the nurse manager of the CV OR. He wanted to clear things up with me and explain why the CV OR position is not actually available even tough it's been posted since July. He asks me if I am at all interested in the PACU position, and I told him that it was not a dream job like the CV OR. I went on to really try and sell it to this guy that I would be awesome in CV OR. I could tell he was disappointed that he could not pacify me with the PACU job. I asked him, straight up, if the position was completely off the table, and he told me that he'd really have to think about it. So, I left that meeting with no answers, and after 4 interviews this week, I still have no job.

I do, however, have an amazing amount of peace. I know that God has something for me. I know that He called me to be a nurse, and I know that He's called me to be a worship leader. He has the perfect job out there that will allow me to do both wholeheartedly, and I'll wait until He provides it. God really spoke to my heart over this last year in Germany. (It's amazing how much He talks to you when you're listening). I know that I'm not supposed to settle, and that I am supposed to wait for Him no matter what the cost. Right now, financially, the cost is pretty high, but I have to wait, obey, and trust that God will always provide.

So that's what I've been doing this week. What have you been up to? I'd love to hear your stories. What has God spoken in your heart?

Change of Focus

Since we aren't in Germany anymore, I can no longer tell you about the amazing places we get to see, so I've decided to change my blog up a bit to talk to you more about my relationship with Christ, my husband, and maybe Lilly, the cat. I am incredibly open to your ideas and opinions, so leave comments! Also, if you have a particular topic you'd like for me to discuss, bring it on. I love the opportunies to learn about things I may not know anything about! Email me your suggestions: mrsehl@gmail.com.

Beth

Job Hunting

So I've been looking for a job now for about 1.5 weeks. It is quite frustrating work! I came to this realization while I was in Germany that I was sick and tired of working ALL the time, and even when I wasn't working, if I was on call, I was still kinda working. Granted, the money is great, but life isn't all about that. I want to live!! So I've been searching for a fulfilling job that meets several qualifications.

1.) No weekends...haha...yeah right
2.) Day shift only...I did nights for a year, and I'll never do it again
3.) Something that is challenging and something from which I can really grow

Ok, so right now there's not a single nursing job in the Anderson/Greenville area that 100% meets those specifications...not even 85%...haha. It must be unreasonable to think that I can have a career, hopefully a family someday soon, and a reasonably fulfilling life. Hmmm...there's just gotta be more, you know?

Thoughts? Comment? Further Observations?

One Week Later...Reflections

Well, we've been home now for one week. (It was really strange to drive home from Atlanta and see all of the gigantic cars). We had a fabulous surprise party waiting for us at our house. Andrea Evans probably spent hours cleaning everything up for us. God bless her!! It was great to go home and everything be there almost exactly how we left it. We felt so loved having so many people there waiting on us. We are truly blessed individuals...no doubt.

So our first few days were quite nice actually. All the unpacking and organizing went very smoothly thanks to my husband...such a diligent guy.

I had band practice for the first time in a year. It was great to sing again. In all, leading worship was the hardest thing I had to give up this past year, and I think God has some great things in store.

I've been applying for various nursing positions. This morning, in fact, I've had three calls for interviews. That's pretty exciting. Maybe I'll have options! Pray for clarity.

It's nice to have all of our friends again. Kenny and Tiffany are literally a phone call away. Playing Wii boxing was freakin' awesome!!! Watching Kenny play Wii Boxing was priceless.

So here are my reflections from Sunday: I was so nervous singing. I was thinking maybe they remember me as something I'm not...haha. You always kind of inflate a person in your mind when they've been gone for a while. I was really humbled and thankful for the warm reception. It's hard coming back after not having sung in an entire year. I think there is a very warm chemistry between Jeff, Becky, and I, and I think that God is going to do amazing things. It was just incredible to see everyone again and to see all the new faces. Hope is a great church, and I can't imagine being anywhere else. It's a church that truly desires to reach its community and to fulfill the great commission. It's just awesome to be a part of such a ministry! Danny and I are both ready and willing to be contributors, as Pastor Mark talked about, and not consumers.

Question of the Day...9/11/2001

Where were you and what were you doing when the terrorist attacks occurred? What was your initial reaction?

I am going to answer this myself first. It was a huge turning point in my life, I think. I was living in the garage apartment at the Parkinson's house. I woke up, turned on the television to watch the news, and that's when I saw the first building in flames. I watched for several minutes in complete disbelief, and then when I thought it couldn't get any worse, a second plane crashed into the second building. I saw it on Live tv. I remember one reporter in the background had been debating whether it was an accident or a terrorist attack, but after that second one happened, she began to panic. Then I began to panic. I ran downstairs to try and wake up the Parkinsons. I really thought we were under attack or something. I remember thinking that life as I know it will never be the same, and I was right.

Seven years later, terrorism is still a major problem in the world, and it will probably always be. Not long after we moved here to Germany, there was an attempted terrorist attack at the Frankfurt Airport. They traced the terrorists back to the town of Ulm...about 1.5 hours away from where we live in Reutlingen. Recently, it was uncovered that these men had plans of attacking about 5 other German airports. These were all attempts to target Americans. One of these 5 airports is the one we are flying out of on Sunday. It's kinda scary, but my trust and faith is in Jesus. Ok, enough of that. What are your thoughts?

More Fun Trips

This past weekend, we traveled to Nürnberg and Rothenburg ober der Tauber. I'll tell you a little about Nürnberg first. (Man, Rick Steves should hook me up with a job)!!

Nürnberg is really old. There's even a house dating back to 1338 and a pharmacy dating back to 1486. So obviously, people have been hanging out here for a long time. Adolf Hilter also liked the place, and his aim was to make it the capital of the National Socialist Party (Nazis). An architect was hired to plan everything, and everything was set to go until America came to save the day. Haha...that's not exactly how it happened, but I just wanted to say that. Anyway, all the plans were in place. Laborers were working day and night to complete the plans. A capital building was partly built. A huge stadium that could hold 400,000 people was planned, and the sight of many of Hilter's speeches was completed. It was quite eerie to see all of this, because we were able to walk on the actual platform where Hilter gave so many of his speeches. You could imagine all of the hundreds of thousands of people standing there listening to these false promises thinking that this man was going to change Germany to make it a wonderful place. So many empty promises; so many lives lost, and for what? It made me really sad. Even the architecture that the Nazis used was very concrete and bland, but it was also so big; larger than life. You could see that it was truly Hilter's aim to take over the entire world removing the Jews, the Christians, and any other religion that exhalted itself above the power of the Nazi party. Sound like a story you've heard before from the Bible? It reminds me of when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refused to bow down to Pharoah, and they were tossed into the fire. God ultimately received the glory in that situation, so sometimes I wonder why so many had to die in the Holocaust. I know I can't see the broad scheme of things, but it is just plain sad. I know that God saved and protected so many of the Jews, but I wonder what His purpose was or is in so much persecution taking place. Don't think I am doubting God. I know that if anything good happened from the Holocaust it would have to be our awareness to the dangers of the persecution of one religious group by another. I really do believe that in such a horrible situation that God was revealed to so many, and that His purposes, while they are unknown to us, were made known to many. Maybe the world is a better place because of the sacrifice. What do you think? Let's think about this for a minute. Sorry I am on a bit of a tangent right now. Can you imagine being a Christian during this time period? People had to honestly think that Hilter was THE antichrist and that Jesus was coming back on his chariot of fire at any minute. I wonder how many people found Jesus during that time. I mean, even during the cold war, there were so many Americans who honestly thought that they could be nuked at any time. I wonder where their hearts stood with Jesus. Maybe we have to go through things such as war so that we are reminded who is ultimately in control. It sure isn't us, and thank God for that!! Anyway, these are just some things I have been thinking about. Here's some pictures of Nürnberg:

 

On the River

 

I love all of the flowers on the houses and buildings in Germany.

 

Really old Pharmacy (1486). Just remember that America wasn't discovered by Columbus until 1492!

 

This house dates back to 1338. How do I know? Well, there's a plaque on the wall in front of it that tells me. haha.

Rothenburg ober der Tauber is honestly a place I know nothing about. All I know is that it's old, and a lot of tourists go there. There is, however, a really cool medieval wall that surrounds the town that you can actually walk in and circle most of the town. We did get to put our heads into the stocks which was kinda cool in a weird sort of way. Here are some photos:

 

Taken from inside the wall around the city.

 

Part of the city square

 

I am supposed to look like I am dying. Yeah, I can sing a little, but I surely can't act. haha.

 

Danny's the happiest guy you'll ever see in the stocks.

By the way...

I AM SO EXCITED THAT WE ARE COMING HOME!!

September 14th at 3:20pm. YIPPEEEEE!!

One Week...

Until MY BIRTHDAY!!! YIPEEE!!!!

Just When You Think You've Seen It All...

I am so proud of my husband for running his first half marathon yesterday. He ran 21 kilometers in 2.5 hours. Then we went home, and Danny slept for rest of the day...haha.

 

So now to the reason for the title of this blog: I completely understand that one of the first things you want to do when you finish a race is strip down and cool off. But seriously, do you have to strip down to pure nakedness in the parking lot, especially considering there were changing rooms? I don't think so. Between Danny and I, we saw enough naked people running around to last us a lifetime!!

Now on a completely different note, we are really thanking God for His protection last night. At about 1:30am, there was a really, really bad storm here. You have to keep in mind that Germany doesn't really have terrible lightning storms or anything, so this was a bit different. I can honestly say that for the first 8 months here, we hadn't had a storm at all; a lot of rain, but no lightning. Well, last night was awful...truly one of the worst storms I've ever been in (even by SC standards). The wind was blowing so hard, and it was so loud that I was sure a tornado was coming. The lightening was non-stop and definitely hit some things. After the worst was over, you could hear fire engine sirens everywhere. I seriously had an escape route all planned out in my head...haha.

Wie ein einziger Tag

Leider, schreibe ich nicht ganz auf Deutch.

One of my goals when we first moved to Germany was to be able to read a book in German from cover to cover (and understand it). Recently, I've begun reading Wie ein einziger Tag by Nicholas Sparks. I found this book at a flea market here in Germany, and I paid about 50 cents for it. Obviously, Nicholas Sparks is not a German author, but an American one. As I skimmed through the book, I thought to myself, "I can read this!" The German didn't look too complicated or anything, so I decided to try it. Well, as I am reading the first chapter, I am thinking, "Man, this story seems somehow familiar." And it is!! Wie ein einziger Tag basically means: Like a single day. However, when one translates titles, they are usually tweaked at bit so that they make sense in German. The book that I am reading is The Notebook. I was so excited. Not only do I understand the book well enough that I know that, but I also really like this story. I am excited to see how it's translated.

On a completely different topic: We are leaving for the Canary Islands, off the coast of Spain, next week. We found a fabulous deal on an all inclusive resort for a week, so we decided to take it. We are so ready for some relaxation. All of our other "vacations" have been very busy with sightseeing and running around and such (not that we are complaining at all!!), so we are ready to just lay on the beach (which we haven't seen in ages, it seems) and do absolutely nothing. I know some of you may think that chilling and relaxing are all I do all day, right? But it's really not. I have figured out a lot of ways to keep myself busy these days. For one, I am helping a few teenie boppers learn English. Also, I am meeting now regularly with a lady who is helping me with my German speech. I also workout for a few hours a day/4-5 days per week. I spend several hours per day studying and learning too. I am quite the self-motivated little bee...haha.

Anyway, I hope to hear from some people here soon. We miss you all, and we are anxious and excited to be coming home in just under three months.

Beth

Crazy Dreams

Ok, so for the last 2 nights, I've had these really crazy dreams, and then I can't go back to sleep. On the first night, I was killed (yes, I actually died in my dream...yikes!) in a freak volcano eruption. We (meaning me and some people I don't remember) were trying to keep the lava from overtaking our small town when I remember kicking the dirt and lava just started shooting up from the ground. I then died. Freaky!! Then, last night, I dreamed that I was riding my bike. I was in a subway tunnel with tons of people, and this guy just started shooting a gun. He shot me first in my right lung, and I flew off my bike. On the way down, he shot me again in my other lung. Then he came over to me to make sure I was dead. I am no interpreter of dreams or anything, but dude, I'm freaking out a little. I don't think I am going to ride my bike today, though...just in case.

My Heart is Sad (Click here to find out why).

I couldn't believe it when I saw the pictures on CNN. The town of Hechingen, where Hohenzollern is located, has been completely devastated by flooding and high winds. It literally looks like a tornado has gone through. Keep in mind that this town is only about 15-20 minutes away from Reutlingen, where we live. There are cars completely flipped upside down, huge trees totally uprooted, and 3 people have died. It's a really sad time for the close knit community, so please keep them in your prayers. It's still raining a good bit, but hopefully that will be over soon.

Beth

WHAT THE...?!?! (Click Here)

Since when is THIS a plus-sized model?!?!? She looks really slim and fit to me. What in the heck is this world coming to when we label normal sized (or even slim women) as plus sized just because you can't see their ribs or their spine sticking out of their backs? The modeling industry should be ashamed of itself!! No wonder young girls starve themselves to fulfill this supposed "norm" in society. Who gave them the right to determine what's normal and not? UGH!!!!!!!!!

Finally Home

We just got home about one hour ago from our long trip in Italy. It was absolutely amazing. We are, however, very pooped, so look for a blog and pictures here in the next day or two. I journaled everyday, so I'll try to share something interesting from all of the places we saw. I cannot believe we only have 4 more months here in Germany. It's actually not cold anymore, and everything is green and in bloom...just breathtaking. I will really miss this place when we leave. ;)

What's New?

Let's see....

The food here in Germany is very rich...lots of fatty meat with creamy sauces served with starchy potatoes or noodles. Oh, and let's not forget the incredible sugary pastries and breads that fill your senses every time you walk anywhere near a bakery. (They're EVERYWHERE!!!) I had set some goals for myself when we first moved here...even put them in writing...such a dork, I know. After being here for about 6 months, I realized that I hadn't even started working on some of them. Not good!! So, about one month and a half ago I started an amazing new journey in getting myself in shape and eating healthy. I completely changed the way I was eating. Not only did I start feeling so much better and having more energy, I have also started losing a good bit of extra weight that I've put on over the years. Danny's not really participating that much in eating better. He loves his sugar too much!! But, he's lost weight too just from eating healthier dinners, I guess. We both feel tons better, and that's the most important thing. Losing weight should only be a side effect.

 

One of Danny's and my friends came to visit while on business from Bosch. We had dinner in Tübingen on Thursday night, and it was hilarious. Travis, our friend, brought another guy with him, Michael. I so wish I could tell you some of the stories we heard over that dinner, but you wouldn't get the full effect just by reading it. All I've got to say is, "Sprechen Sie Deutsch!!" Only a few know of what I am speaking, and you should be laughing your head off.


Yesterday, Sunday, was a strange day. It was actually sunny outside, so Danny and I really wanted to take advantage of it. We decided to meet up with a friend and go to this place where some meteor hit. Well, needless to say, after about 1.5 hours of driving around the booming metropolis of Metzingen (note sarcasm), we had no clue where to find the parking lot where our friend was waiting. Apparently, stores are only open on Sundays 1-2 times per year, and EVERYONE decides to go shopping whether they really need to or not. After being yelled and honked at for not pulling out into speeding traffic, we decided it was time to tuck our tails between our legs and find another activity for the day. I got the bright idea of going for a bike ride around where we live. It was a marvelous idea, honest!! We retrieve our bikes from the cellar downstairs, and Danny notices that his back tire needs a little air. So we walk the bike down the street to the gas station where Danny proceeds to pump up his tire. He checks my bike again, just to make sure, and he decides that my tire needs air also. What he doesn't realize is that my tire has a different nozzle and cannot be pumped up by just an ordinary pump. He then tries to figure out a way to pump it up anyway. (It's the engineer in him that won't let him just leave well enough alone. I do love that about him, though). In the end, Danny had a perfectly ridable bike, and I had a tire that had absolutely no air in it at all. Then, I decided that, for some reason, God just really didn't want us to be outside. It was such a strange day, full of folly!!

My mom is coming to visit mid-May. Yay!!!! She finally booked her flight a few weeks ago. I was so hoping that she would take this opportunity to visit a foreign country. I think we're going to Paris again, because Paris is awesome. I hope that she is impressed by my German skills...haha. And for the record, the only French I can speak is counting to about 13, so we may be in trouble in Paris. Who knows. (Tiffany used her French skills while we were there before).

On April 30, we are going on our 2 week trip to Italy!! I still don't know where all we are going, but I plan on figuring all of that out this week. I got my new Rick Steve's Italy book, so I should be set.

My birthday isn't for a while. It's in July, but I think I am at the age where I don't really want to tell you how old I am anymore...booo. Anyway, we're going to go to the Canary Islands for a week in July. There's a black sand beach on one of the islands, and we're really hoping to stay there, lay on the beach, and drink pina coladas!! I can't wait to see the ocean again!!!

Well, I think that's about all that's new here. We'd love to hear about what's going on back home. Feel free to leave a comment or email me.

HELP!!

On April 30, we are going on a bit of an adventure. We're going to get in our car and drive through Switzerland to Italy. If anyone has been to these places, let us know!! We need to know some great places to visit/stay/eat. We are planning on staying in Rome for a 3-4 days, and we'll hopefully get to attend a Papal Mass. That's really the only thing we have planned that's concrete. I have an Italy travel guide, but I would like some input from people I know who have been there. Thanks so much!!

A White Easter?

This weekend the weather has been really bad. It's been cold, windy, and rainy. This morning, we woke up thinking the weather would be no different, but it was!! It was white!! We were having the Easter blizzard. Nevertheless, we decided to brave the weather and drive 45 minutes to our church for Easter service. (In South Carolina, even church would have been canceled due to the snow). Church was awesome. It was completely packed out. The first song they played was, "Oh, Happy Day" by Steve Fee, and it was in English (a double bonus). A good time was had by all.

The entire day, I've been thinking about what this day really means and how the Easter bunny come into the mix. This the day we commemorate Jesus' resurrection!! Not only did He die for my sins, He defied death by rising again. I would have loved to have seen the faces of the people to whom He appeared. Can you imaging seeing Him and thinking that it just can't be true? But then He shows you His hands, and you have no doubt that this is God in the flesh standing in front of you. Can you imagine His mother? She has seen her Son die such a brutal death, but then He goes to her and says, "Hey mom, Guess what? I'm Alive!!". I can imagine what the disciples thought? It had to have become crystal clear to them that He had told them all of this was going to happen, but they just didn't understand before. They must have felt so dumb, yet so happy at the same time.

Anyway, this has been a great day. I am so hoping that God will reveal Himself to lots of people today. My challenge to anyone who doesn't know Christ is to simply begin to search for Him. Ask Jesus to show you that He is God. It's really that simple. The Bible says that when we seek, we find, and I believe with all of my heart that He will reveal Himself to you if you only ask. That's what He did for me. Trust me, I am about as stubborn and hard-headed as they come, but He has shown Himself to me over and over again.

Happy Easter!!!

It's Valentine's Day, and I Don't Care

Call me unsentimental or unromantic all you want; I think Valentine's Day is kinda dumb. My husband thinks he is the luckiest man in the world that he doesn't have to go and spend tons of money on flowers and candy just for this one holiday!! He buys me flowers all year round, and it makes me so happy to get them when I least expect it. It means more to me to receive something just because he is thinking about me than for him to have to do on this one particular day. So I don't think we are unromantic at all. We are just romantic with each other for the entire year.