Update...

This week has been such a stressful week for me. Here's the situation: Before we decided to take an amazing assignment in Germany, I had such a great job. The call back part was a little difficult at times, but in all, it was a good job. I was financially well taken care of. I was able to schedule things in my life and therefore actually have a life. Not many nurses can brag about that. Yes, the doctors would occasionally fly off the handle, and you'd want to quit just because of the amount of emotional abuse you'd have to take from them on a daily basis. But I worked with a great group of people, and we really had a lot of fun.

So we take off and have such an amazing time in Germany. We are just so blessed. Meanwhile, my boss in the cath lab is doing all that she can to hold my job for me for the year I'm gone. I checked the job postings on the St. Francis website every month or so just to see if my position was still there. After 11 months in Germany, my position was still there, but I wasn't sure if I even wanted the job back. God was really speaking to my heart about some things. I just wasn't sure where He wanted me to be. After talking to the director of the cath lab about a month before I came home, I thought the position was, at any rate, still mine for the taking. Two weeks before leaving Germany, the position is still there. Three days before leaving Germany, the job is suddenly gone! I thought, "Ok, God has a way of closing doors and opening others. It's ok." I wasn't all that upset about it.

So now we come to this last week. I've had 4 interviews at 3 different hospitals and only one job in which I'm actually interested. The one job I'm interested in would be a HUGE HUGE HUGE (get the point) pay cut, but I don't do nursing just for the money. I'd rather be happy and have less money than miserable in a job that pays great. Anyway, so the nurse manager in the job that I really wanted absolutely loved me, and I thought that it was just a perfect fit for me. All week, I've been waiting to hear the definite, for sure, job offer, and I've only gotten the run-around. I am the ONLY person they've interviewed for this position, so I'm knew that there was something else going on. Finally, I get a clear answer...budget. Apparently, they posted this dream job without actually having the money in the budget to pay for it. Hmmm...not good, and yesterday it got even better (note sarcasm).

Yesterday, I had my fourth interview. I was set up on an interview in PACU, an area I know little about. The CV OR people set it up, because according to them, this is where the greatest need lies. Ok, I'm open minded, so I go to the interview. PACU seems like a really great area. The job seems like it's challenging and rewarding. So far, so good. Then I ask about hours, and they are stinking nuts...third shift call, working sometimes 8:30am-11pm, days off spent recovering from third shift call, working every other weekend, etc. So, I'm thinking this job doesn't provide much along the lines of being able to have a life. Then I have a meeting with the boss of the nurse manager of the CV OR. He wanted to clear things up with me and explain why the CV OR position is not actually available even tough it's been posted since July. He asks me if I am at all interested in the PACU position, and I told him that it was not a dream job like the CV OR. I went on to really try and sell it to this guy that I would be awesome in CV OR. I could tell he was disappointed that he could not pacify me with the PACU job. I asked him, straight up, if the position was completely off the table, and he told me that he'd really have to think about it. So, I left that meeting with no answers, and after 4 interviews this week, I still have no job.

I do, however, have an amazing amount of peace. I know that God has something for me. I know that He called me to be a nurse, and I know that He's called me to be a worship leader. He has the perfect job out there that will allow me to do both wholeheartedly, and I'll wait until He provides it. God really spoke to my heart over this last year in Germany. (It's amazing how much He talks to you when you're listening). I know that I'm not supposed to settle, and that I am supposed to wait for Him no matter what the cost. Right now, financially, the cost is pretty high, but I have to wait, obey, and trust that God will always provide.

So that's what I've been doing this week. What have you been up to? I'd love to hear your stories. What has God spoken in your heart?